


Panicked

by Marber312



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Child, Crying, Cute, F/M, Familiy, Future, Happy Ending, Hurt, I know Max L-B is called blueberry but changed it to only Blue, Injured Alec, M/M, Malec, One Shot, Protective Magnus, Sad, Written before knowing names of the future lighwood-Bane child(ren), aunt izzy, magnus giving up his immortality, mention of clace, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:05:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7848004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marber312/pseuds/Marber312
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec gets badly injured on a mission, so bad Magnus isn't sure he can save him in time.<br/>Hearing his own child cry without being able to comfort him only increases the rising panic.<br/>Will he find a way to save Alec in time?</p><p> </p><p>(Fear not. I can't write sad endings)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panicked

**Author's Note:**

> So firstly, when I wrote this I only knew (thanks to the internet) that Alec and Magnus would later adopt a warlock baby with blue skin. I didn't know more than they'd call him blueberry. So in my mind, they shorten the pet name, especially as he grows older using Blue as a nickname instead (while still using Blueberry less openly) and that way I could avoid using a real name since I didn't know what it was.

Alec knew he was in bad shape before anyone had the time to mention it. He cursed himself, knowing far well how Magnus would scowl at him since he promised to be careful and not let anything happen. They had promised their little blueberry a play day tomorrow right before he got the call to jump in on a short notice, high alert mission. He limped up to Jace who, with a single glance at him, grabbed his waist and hung his arm over his shoulders helping him along. They kept their own side clear and together made it safely to the rest of the group. Alec stumbled and Jace almost dropped him. “Hold on Alec, we’re soon there.” Jace glanced to his parabatai. “You know Magnus will kill me if I let anything happen to you before we get you home.” At this Alec scoffed and smiled. He could already see for his inner eye Magnus’ face when he was burning Jace’s ass off after he told him he lost Alec somewhere on the mission. And it gave him the energy he needed to stay awake during the entire ride back to the Institute.

It was a long trip back but Alec didn’t remember much more than Jace talking to him telling him to focus, to stay awake and at least a hundred times say that they were soon there. They stumbled through the institute’s front doors. Clary almost dropped the cup of tea she was holding when they barged in. She wobbled over, 8th month pregnancy belly making it hard to move around normally. “Oh Angel! Jace are you all right?” Alec gave a blurry thought to how they must look; out of breath, dirty, sweaty and covered in blood and demon blood. Jace gave her a quick smile but still looked very serious. “Yeah, it’s Alec. Get Magnus.” Alec tried to smile apologetically before Clary walked off the fastest she could but the world was fading fast and it was hard to keep upright. “Whoa! Come on buddy! Almost there. Magnus’s on his way.” Jace promised once again while leading him towards his bedroom. 

Jace looked at his wife walking off and thought that it was indeed a wonderful plus having his brother dating a high warlock; especially when that high warlock had decided to take in the young downworlder (which had made them take in the child) that had been left on the institute doorstep as a baby. Since that had lead to the habit that when said boyfriend went on missions the child and the worrying warlock would wait with the child’s favourite nanny, aunt Izzy, at the Institute. So when said boyfriend came back injured they’d have a High Warlock right in the institute to their aid. They didn’t have to move anywhere to get magical help which Jace was extremely happy about seeing that his wife shouldn’t be running around at all, even if she insisted of doing so. 

That didn’t, under any circumstances, mean seeing his adoptive brother fall on his face was any less scary, no matter how close the help was.  
Alec woke up in his room, sweaty, dirty and still hurting, a clear sign that he had only been out for a short while and not having Magnus looming over him meant that he had only been out for Jace to get him to his room. Alec was light headed and a little hazy. He slightly pondered if it was blood loss, concussion or poison that made his head feel like a balloon. His eyelids were heavy and he just wanted to sleep but fought it the best he could. Knowing far well Magnus would try to wake him the second he entered.

But he could still in his hazy state hear the light padding of small feet against the floor as his small blueberry entered his room. His small hands grabbed the now dirty sheets to crawl onto the bed, in the manner only a five year old could. Alec couldn’t help but smile as his small horns and messy black mass of hair could be seen over the edge as he started to climb. Alec’s smile widen as the rest of the head came over the edge as the five year old came up onto the bed. His eyes were worried and curious at the same time, a small furrow of the brow showed his slight confusion as he didn’t quite understand the situation. He was just about too snuggled up to his side and would then successfully make himself and his expensive -Magnus bought- clothes extremely dirty, when Magnus walked in.  
Magnus grabbed their small fellow under his arms lifting him towards himself to carry him onto his side. “I’m sorry sweetie but cuddles has to wait.” Magnus rubbed blue’s hands clean, which had been dirtied by the mere touch of Alec’s bed and clothes. Blue pouted. “Why?” He asked in his most sulking tone he could bring forth. Magnus had to look away to not give in to the little devils persuasion of using his adorableness against him. 

When his eyes landed on Alec Magnus stopped worrying about giving in to the adorable pout. When he had entered he hadn’t been so worried since Alec looked seemingly fine; He should have paid more attention. Alec had closed his eyes and was breathing with difficulty, looking a shade too pale. Magnus could feel his heart starting to beat hard against his ribcage, feeling how his worry and fright started to spread. “Because papa has to work.” He said with a serious tone, kissed blue’s forehead and bent down, putting Blue down without letting Alec go with his focused eyes, already scanning the situation. He stepped towards Alec’s still form. He could barely force his gaze away to look at their little blueberry. “Go find aunty Izzy and tell her it’s bad.” He registered a small nod and the fast paddle of small feet running away. That was the last thing Magnus paid any amount of attention to as his vision zeroed in on Alec. 

Izzy walked by and so did Jace and Clary to check up on them annoyingly often. After a while they all started to come in with something for Magnus to eat or drink as he had been seated next to Alec for hours, healing him continuingly. He had not left once to grab something so they brought it to him. If Magnus was unable to move for so long, it was really bad. And if it was that bad they didn’t want a dehydrated or starved warlock working on fixing it.  
Magnus had been healing Alec for hours but even with the constant flow of nutrition in his system, his vison was swaying. His energy was reaching his very lowest and he knew it was a dangerous game to try and push onwards. But he couldn’t stop yet since Alec wasn’t healed enough for them both to just rest their bodies on their own. He tried to blink the tiredness out of his eyes. He let go with one hand to rub his eyes. It was getting far more difficult to sit straight and keeping his lids up than it had been a few moments ago.

Suddenly he felt small hands on his shoulders and a small voice called him out. “You’re tried.” Magnus gave a small smile, he hadn’t even heard or noticed Blue walk into the room. He had even been too tired to notice when he climbed up, Alec’s bed being quite high and blue being quite short. “I am.” He admitted slowly and as a reply he felt a sudden rush of energy. It took him a second to realize in his tired state where it came from and realize it was blue who was giving it to him. He looked over his shoulder and saw blue’s concentrated stare. Small hands gleaming and flickering gold. Magnus wanted to tell him to stop. He was still too young to know exactly what he was doing and how much he could do. But blue’s eyes were watery and he looked scared but determent. “Is he going to be alright?” Blue looked into Magnus eyes and he patted his son’s head and couldn’t force himself to do it. Blue was just as scared as he was, wanting nothing else but to help, and Magnus needed the help.

He gave his brave son a smile. “He will. Especially now.” For the first time Blue sparked a smile and Magnus went back to work. Quickly using up the energy he had gotten, but trying to not use too much. It was the last small push he needed to get Alec stabilized enough so he could rest. He stopped his magic and grabbed Alec’s stele activating his healing rune. As he put the stele down, Blue retrieved his hands from his shoulders. He felt the immediate need to rest and even if Alec would worsen slightly he wouldn’t be able to help if he continued without sleeping, being tired out of his mind. He lay down beside Alec and quickly fell asleep feeling Blue snuggle up between them. Dirt be damned.  
He did though not get to sleep very long as he woke up with a worrying sense tingling him awake. He jolted awake; sitting up in utter panic. Alec had stopped breathing. The first second he didn’t know what to do, his panic clogging his thought process but he shook it off. Alec wouldn’t start breathing if he only sat there, he needed to start working.

He felt the little energy he had gotten fade but he was still losing Alec. In the midst of his panic Blue had woken up and got worried to tears, not understanding what was happening but getting scared by Magnus fear and noticing how Alec wasn’t responding to anything. Blue cried and that Magnus didn’t have the time to console him only made the situation worse. Blue’s unstopped cries only fused Magnus own panic and growing dread.  
At Blue’s wailing Izzy rushed into the room seeing what was happening. Blue wasn’t a child who usually cried so when he did; it was heart breaking. Magnus felt his eyes burn but refused to give in to tears.

It broke his heart but Magnus told Blue to say goodbye to daddy before sending him into the arms of Izzy. Magnus didn’t want to scare the boy into shock but, he couldn’t stay any longer and before he left Magnus felt the need to let Blue say goodbye. Just in case… …because he was losing him. Magnus could feel his heart sink to his stomach beating fast and heavy. Just in case he couldn’t get him back. In case he’d lose him. In case he couldn’t save him. Izzy held Blue crying in her arms, letting him touch Alec’s face as he was told to say goodbye. It was clear Blue didn’t want to go as he tried to grab onto anything and cries growing in volume as he was carried out of the room. Izzy being close to tears herself held him tight, rocking him and started to hum with one last scared and worried look at Magnus.

His vision zeroed in and blurred. He thought he was fainting before he tried cleared his eyes with his sleeve and realized it were tears that made it difficult to see. He blinked furiously trying to see clearer and let his tears fall inhibited. Not even trying to wipe them; nothing was allowed to remove any bit of his concentration from Alec. Not tears, not exhaustion. Not even the feeling of his heart breaking or the growing feeling of hopelessness. Not his son’s wailing cries. They all just made him push further. He couldn’t lose Alec, he couldn’t lose his child’s father. He couldn’t.  
Magnus pushed further but even doing everything he could he felt Alec’s heart stop once more. He freaked. He panicked like he had never panicked before and dug deeper into himself than he thought he possible could. And tapped into energy from the core of his being and surged the deeply rooted energy right into his magic. He felt himself shake but wasn’t sure if it was him or if the entire room rumbled. Alec’s heart started again with a sharp inhale of air and Magnus breathed in relief before reflecting on what the energy had been and then realized what that deep life inducing energy had been before he was knocked out cold by the lack of energy. He woke up an hour later on the floor where he had fallen and decided to go tell the others that Alec would be fine and find a less crowded and not so dirty bed to sleep in. 

Alec stirred and felt like if he hadn’t slept in years. His entire body ached and his heart beat in his chest as if he had been running for miles.  
He woke up having big round watery eyes staring at him, bottom lip shaking. He smiled tiredly. “What’s the matter blueberry?” “Papa told me to say goodbye…” Alec could see the tears swell up in his big round eyes. “So I’m gonna say hi now.” Blue’s lips shook again, first tear slipping out of his eyes. “Hi daddy.” Alec felt his heart flutter at the sweetness and sat up slightly against the wall to reach out for Blue. “Hi my little blueberry.” Blue’s small hands clutched to his chest as he pushed his head into the nook in his neck. He must have been in a very bad state to scare him so badly. Taken by the way he clutched to him.  
“It’s okay. I’m fine now.” Alec patted his back and reflected what Blue said to him. It must have been very close if Magnus had made him say goodbye. He’d never do than unless he was actually losing him. He held Blue tighter, and thanked the angles for Magnus’ brilliance.

After a while Blue let go and sat up, being done crying. When he did, Izzy entered the room and he looked at her wondering where Magnus was. “You scared us. Blue especially and Magnus is fine.” “Alec relaxed and smiled apologetically. “Sorry.” He looked from Izzy to Blue.

Blue spoke up while starting to grab his hair. Clearly much happier and back to his carefree child self. “Papa said you should be sorry.” Alec looked at Blue surprised. “Why did he say that?” He chuckled. Blue shrugged his shoulders, already adapting Magnus way of moving, not letting go of Alec’s hair. “Said that after this, if - if you made him age ugly you should be sorry.” Alec laughed out loud. “He said that?” Blue looked at him with a wide smile. “Yupp. That if he got worry lines instead of laughing wrinkled he’d make sure you’d be sorry, too.” Alec gave Blue an amused look. Blue saw the doubt in his eyes and released his hair. “HE did!” he loudly declared and gave his daddy a determent pout –the one Magnus always said he got from Alec, which he profoundly refused to acknowledge. Alec laughed again. “But Magnus doesn’t age and doesn’t get wrinkles…” He gave Blue a knowing look, trying to jog his memory. They had talked about immortality before when Blue had asked why Alec had wrinkles but not Magnus. Not that Alec had gotten many wrinkles being in his late-twenties. But it was just such a thing children picked up on. And he had also probably over heard them loudly discuss the matter – as Magnus called their arguments. 

Magnus stepped in hearing Alec being up and well. And the first thing Alec thought when he saw his boyfriend was that he looked really tired. Like if he hadn’t slept for years either, almost looking… older, aged? And then the memory of the massive energy pumping life into his heart flared in his mind. His entire being had shook by the cheer force of the energy.

His eyes snapped to Magnus putting two and two together but not really believing it. “What did you do?” Magnus gave him a questioning look before following Alec’s gesturing gaze to Blue. He looked puzzled before realizing that Blue must have overheard his muttering when he woke up. He tried to carelessly shrug his shoulders as Clary and Jace stepped into his room and joined the staring party. Jace looked at him, also curious about Alec and Mangus’ sudden stare match and the odd atmosphere they’d walked into. “Blue got scared and I kind of panicked when your heart stopped.” Alec didn’t let Magnus go with his eyes, holding blue’s fiddling hands in his own hands. “What did you do?” Magnus tried the small shrug of the shoulders again. Lifting Blue up from the bed into his arms and carried him on his hip. “I may have used my immortality energy to save you.” Blue smiled and started fiddling with Magnus necklaces and the clinking it created was the only sound in the room as the rest of the room processed what he had just been said. Alec’s heart did a small jump. “You did what..?” He breathed out. The others stared with disbelief at Magnus. Magnus smiled at Blue giving him his most attention, like if what he had just dropped on them wasn’t a big deal. A very Magnus-y thing to do. “Blue was crying, you were dying so I panicked. You know I can’t take care of Blue all by myself.” He wrinkled his nose and rubbed his and Blue’s together. “I’d just spoil him rotten.” Blue giggled as Magnus used his free hand to tickle his side. 

Magnus glanced his way, full with love and Alec instantly knew he didn’t regret it. Magnus smiled a small smile that reminded him of their late talk about Magnus thinking about finding a way to age. He had admitted that it was something he had wanted to look into ever since they took Blue in. He didn’t want to outlive them and their life together. He had lived through enough and didn’t want the experience of staying young while the love of his life and their child aged and died. Alec admitted that he also didn’t want Magnus to outlive them. That he’d feared the day he got old and wrinkly, smelling like old people while Magnus was young and fresh and still as gorgeous as the day they met. Magnus would always be beautiful to him but it was a fear of his that their love would only last so long in the midst of only him growing old and immobile the older he got. 

He wasn’t excited by the way it happened though. It should have been a thoroughly thought through decision. Not something based on panic done in fear of losing him. But the way Magnus smiled and held their child, sending him loving glances made his heart warm, knowing they’d actually grow older together - knowing they’d actually get to have a piece of normal life in their otherwise odd life. And even though fears of Magnus regretting his decision, hating him for making him do it rose in the back of his mind he knew Magnus was happy with his decision.

Blue reached both his arms out towards him, being held securely by Magnus. Alec sat up properly taking him into his arms as Magnus sat down beside him handing Blue over. They created the perfect family picture together. And that they were together was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Nothing is probably accurate. I know now that Alec and Magnus have two kids but since I haven't read much about them, more than their names, and knew even less when I wrote this so I made it up as I went along.  
> Writers liberty and all. I just got the picture in my head about Magnus Alec and blue's interaction and wanted to write it down. :)
> 
> Neither of the characters belongs to me
> 
> English isn't my first language so please do tell me about any mistakes I've made.


End file.
